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Dreaming in Wanganui

Its a big house with a huge warehouse attached to the back. If in warehouse walking to back entrance, back door/passage would be a bit to the left. There are globs of soft light on the wall. People strangers wandering in, byo, like it was a frat. Or random house party. But it's Belinda and Ronnie's place.

My hair is dirty. It's pulled back in a tight tail. I've got ridges on my skull, asymmetrical. And balding in patches. Ronnie says my hair is so dirty that he can smell it downwind. I tell him my hair turned bad in only a few hours. Suddenly back area looks like Jennifer Locascio's back porch.

But the living quarters are so small. In a tiny lounge. Woman sitting on couch. Floor has strange stuff strewn on it. I'm pushing it around. Smoking. Belinda is doing something. Don't know what.


dream: sara + sliding

We're sitting side by side on a couch. Behind the couch are windows with dark wooden blinds. he walls are dark red. Facing the windows, I am on the left, Sara is on the right, and a TV is on far right, in a corner. Sara is watching TV and I think I'm eating something.

It dawns on me that this is a variation on my and Sara's first apartment! In the old place, the TV is across from the couch. The walls are white.

Now I'm sliding on mud.

dream: kimono in a kitchen

I'm walking up a dark sidewalk with 4 or 5 people, passing under scaffolding to a door. I know I don't have the swipe card but if I wait long enough someone else in the group will pull theirs out. I keep shuffling and shuffling every card in my wallet over and over....finally a guy glares and reluctantly swipes us in.

Narrow hallway then walking into a big professional restaurant kitchen, but its dark. So I zig zagging around everybody, flicking on the lights. I seem to be the only one who knows where the switches are. We sit down as if to get the chef's announcement on specials and ingredients and that is when I notice there is a gigantic owl in the cold station.

The restaurant has morphed into an old style, pre-gentrification Chicago saloon. I have a bedroom/dressing room? somewhere behind the bar. I can't get to it. The tiny bar entrance where wait staff comes in, the part that flips up, has the tiniest little latch. And a DJ has his gear all over it and they won't let me in. The door to my dressing room is open, its very light in there, its behind the DJ and the light is spilling into the bar. Its full of jewelry and scarves. Martin is walking around pushing things as has designed dressing table furniture for me. He's installing it. I run around to the other side of the wall and I find a door. But now I'm nervous I can't find the green toast kimono. My earrings are everywhere, cluttering everything. But I find it, it's just outside my dressing room, gently and artistically laid out on a couch.

Now I'm travelling with Anne Clark. We're meeting in Atlanta and it must be last minute because I'm checking into a hotel with no reservation. The concierge is describing the various room to me. I get so thirsty I start gagging and coughing -- they point me towards water machine. The room I've selected is one of 7 or 8. I cannot remember the name of the suite but apparently there are only 7 or 8. The concierge makes a point of saying that "....and it rotates...." and take a picture of the room which features the bed and headboard and starts bending the part of the picture that contains the headboard. I think I should call you to aee we should spend that much. Then the check in clerk says its only $137. I say yes.


dream: original memory palace

Its been a long time since I had been to my memory palace. Months. This time was quite different. Usually I'm suddenly in the doorway leading to the ground floor lounge, looking at the double curved staircases, knowing I'm going to go up those stairs....and visit the bedroom and walk down the two hallways....and hear those sounds.

Not this time. I'm walking through a foyer, a wide well lit hall, its midday and the windows are shiny. The vines are gone, everything is sparkling. In front of me is a young man, well-groomed, dressed as if he had emerged from some small midwestern town in 1950s. His hair is short and brown....and he's utterly forgettable. He motion to turn right and now finally i'm approaching the familiar rooms. but they are clean....!

next i'm outside on open wooden staircases going up the curved wall of my study/bedroom. I got up, I look in windows, and then I'm exiting through a garden archway made of stone, covered in ivies, in the back yard (I have a backyard???) to once again climb the wooden stairs.

I cannot get in. Am I to explore the garden?

dream: green house

Its twilight, perhaps, the house is dark and its half empty. Furniture is gone but all the small things that take too long -- you know, the kitchen, books, personal stuff. And Ted and Lisa are there. We're all still living together, like when we were young, but we're all adults. We're all this age. Our lives and families have disappeared. There is a mad rush to pack everything. Suddenly everything is done but dishes in the kitchen.

Its definitely evening now and everyone is tired. There is a reluctance to pack up and move to some new house. I don't see a moving van. Now the four we are all in a car with four in the back seat. Ted, Lisa and I are in a row (with me in the middle) and to our left is my boyfriend. I have no idea who is he.

We approach a big pine green Victorian house -- perfectly square. We're inside the house now and all the bags and boxes have been brought in. There is a long complicated bit about spare boxes and bags and running back to get the dishes. I don't know.

There is talk of the linens and pillows.

Mixed into that is another event. I'm on a date with this mystery man. Or am I in a bar flirting with him for the first time? Are we eating dinner? Or is he pressed against me, in a crowded room, showing me a comic book? I'm looking at piles of different shaped money, seeing two $10 bills of of different size, yet equal value. A oouple walks up and hugs me, winking slyly at me as they check out the boyfriend. He's sitting diagonally from me. As he's pressed against me in the bar, I remember thinking that he smells good.

The house sits at the top of a small hill, alone, like houses must have looked in the western prairies.

Lisa is concerned about a pillow.


dream: 4 pairs of shoes

In a house perhaps standing in a walk in closet, two people - man and woman. He's holding out a piece of rough paper, perhaps handmade with linen. Its a gift certificate, global one, and he says he can't use it up. Do I want it He's showing me shoes that he bought, but they are women's shoes and he bought 4 pairs. He hands one to me try on. It a style that always looks terrible on me as I've got round, plump feet. But magically, it looks good on me. Even more magically, its a shade of green (M. says yellow but he's wrong) that I rarely see. Even though it looks low heeled, it makes me tall.

The gift certificate is peculiar -- the company name begins with "H". Harkins? Harwood? Its like a talisman -- how can there be a world wide shoe gift certificate?

The house is new to me -- I've not dreamed it before.


can't seem to stop . . .

. . . cooking.

Lately -- if lately means last few months -- all I seem to do is make French and Japanese savoury dishes and cookies and tarts and truffles. I mean, for heaven's sake, I made graham crackers so I smash 'em up to make crusts and buckeyes.

This is what has been made 'n devoured "lately":

* buckeyes (kinda like reese's peanut butter cup in a truffle)
* chinese 5 spice roast duck
* mustard encrusted roast scotch fillet
* pan-fried john dory
* Meyer lemon curd tart
* gravlax
* madeleines
* graham crackers
* asian spare ribs
* black pepper sauce
* risotto
* coconut crusted tempura shrimp
* chiu bao
* various dumplings
* onigiri (spicy pork)
* dark chocolate ship cookies
* artichoke and potato tortilla
* french mustard potato salad

(along with everyday sorta dinners)

I wonder if next career could be private chef?

And its been amazing! Always running out of time...waiting for new cookbooks to arrive.



Last year, when living with M & J in a northern suburb, our house was broken into. I lost all my computers and hard drives. In including the mixtapes from Teh Boy™.

Now fast-forward to a few months ago. I'm having dinner with Mel at Duke Carvell's -- one of my favorites in Welly, currently. And what's comes up? One song I recognize, then another.....and finally four in a row -- I know these songs. They are from TB's mixtapes!

The cashier was a few steps away. I could have walked up there and asked WTF. But I was so shocked.....because so many more things had been stolen and the thought of a personal private mixtape being used in restaurant.....


But I told TB about it later and his take was radically different. He looks at it as a lark, a private joke....

So now whenever I hear at least two songs closely grouped that I know are from the mixtapes, I'm gonna go up and find out. Do they have the real names or just the mixtape names? Oh yeah, me and TB wipe all the ident info out to make it a bit more mysterious.....

So here's what I heard that evening: oh btw, yeah, i know its kinda pointless since only two people have these tracks so I'm thinking about putting up a samples of the songs....dunno yet.

I'll let you know.

4 August 2010: Duke Carvell
veritable shambles 13
veritable shambles 30
static cling 15
static cling 16
swedish whisper 17.


on the way to Oz....

I've been in New Zealand for over four years and this is my first holiday in Australia. Well, I did spend three days in Melbourne to see Mogwai. (what a great show that was!)

Anne just rolled off Guardians and she rightfully reminded me that I have no come to visit her all the while she was in Sydney. So over Siggraph week (waah, not tagged to go this year) seemed like a good time to escape.

So I'm off to Darwin. Which I know nothing about. Didn't even bother to do research. Anne booked everything: 3 day tour (walking!), return flights to Sydney, hotels, meals, transportation...the works. Easiest damned holiday ever.

But Pacific Blue screwed up the flights. Cancelled my Thursday morning leg entirely, so had to break outbound in two. Night in Auckland, early o'clock flight to Sydney.

gotta wake up at 4:15am. Not happy about this....but still. I'm on holiday.

more later...

dream: boots

I'm standing on a roof staring down at a chute. Its like Santa time but not. Its a square and clearly there is some kind of golden light beneath. I am wearing boots that are much too tight. In fact, I'm surprised I can even lace or zipper them up completely. holding a bundle? package?

Now I'm crossing the street and now the boots are too big. knee high boots but so wide, so voluminous that its like wearing stylish leather garbage bags.

I look ridiculous.

Now I wake up. damn.